would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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