Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
