i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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