I'm lost and stupid without you.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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