who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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