Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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