no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
