He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
