glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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