So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
