I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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