i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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