he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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