do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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