Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
