She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize