the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
