no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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