I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
