oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
