i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
