She's JV to your varsity
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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