dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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