I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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