literally had 100 drinks last night.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
