She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
