He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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