Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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