ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
