I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
