She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I need a burrito and a hug.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize