So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
