the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
