i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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