He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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