Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize