I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
