god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
