Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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