They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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