She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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