summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize