So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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