Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
