i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I believe in your delicious
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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