I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I believe in your delicious
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
