Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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