I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
