I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
