There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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