Girls should come with a carfax report
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Ladies don't puke and tell
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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