come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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