You can't special order awesome
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
These tits shall not be calmed
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