): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Randomize
