The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
