Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
