Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
