you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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