Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The air was thick with penises
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
