K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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