And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Randomize
