She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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