Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Randomize
