I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
