I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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