I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
