do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
