Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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