he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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